The Odyssey of Alex Escobar: a Venezuelan migration story, part two

This is the second part of a three-part series, Hannah Lahoz W. Interviews Venezuelan migrant Alex Escobar for Puntorojo about his experiences coming to the U.S.

Hannah: So last time in Part 1 we talked about why you left Venezuela, your time in Columbia, and your journey northwards to the U.S. border. We agreed to break this into three parts as it is hard to talk about. Today we pick up at the moment of your entry into the U.S. and talk about the year you spent in Texas before heading to New York, where we are now.

I entered the United States through the Mexican border, arriving in Yuma. I turned myself in to immigration authorities because, as part of my process, I was required to surrender myself to them to begin the process from there. This is very different from the process experienced by, for example, Mexicans who have to evade immigration officials; I had to turn myself in, and that’s exactly what I did at 12:00 at night in the desert. After enduring the cold and hunger, seeing dead bodies in the desert, and helping other people cross, I didn’t cross a river; I only crossed a large wall and a small stream, which I don’t remember very well because it was pitch black, but it wasn’t particularly dangerous, although for other people, it could be.

We went in a group of about 20 or 25 people in a small van, and they crammed 25 of us in there. We almost died because we were so cramped and suffocated, but out of those 25 people, about 10 of us managed to make it through. I don’t know what happened to the other 15; whether they got lost along the way, were kidnapped, died, or were murdered… When the 15 of us who made it arrived, we found ourselves in the cold desert after about four hours, because it was January, the middle of winter.

In the Arizona desert, we encountered immigration officials. They treated us kindly. There was no violence. They told us, “You are committing a crime against the United States by entering illegally. From this moment on, you are in the hands of the justice system, which will decide your future in the United States.”

We were in fear and uncertainty, because we didn’t know where we were going or what would happen. There were two options: either they deport you back to your country of origin or they let you in, it depends on the ‘credible fear’ interview. They put us in a huge tent, with many people, and it was very cold. There, you have to explain why you fled your country and why you are entering the United States. I explained that I was fleeing because of the government and the reprisals, and because I felt persecuted in my country because of my sexual orientation, and everything I could say to make them believe or be convinced that I needed to be there. If you don’t have a credible story, they can deport you back to your country. You have to wait for that interview, which can be 5, 6, or 8 months. It all depends on how they perceive you.

It was easy for me because they probably saw that I was very scared and that I was alone; I wasn’t with family or friends.  They probably saw that I didn’t pose a threat to the country at that time, so they let me in. I was only detained for two days, but there are people who can be held for five months, six months, or even ten months.

Hannah: And what was the experience like in the detention center?

Horrible. And yes, I was only there for two days. At that time, the conditions were deplorable because there were so many people in a very confined space, possibly the size of this room [4×4 meters], and there were 30 of us. Imagine, in that tiny space, there was only one bench and a bucket for urinating and defecating, and everyone could see. You had to go to the bathroom in front of everyone. We took turns sleeping because we couldn’t all sit down; there wasn’t enough room. We were all standing, so we took turns in groups. One group would sleep for two hours, then stop, then the next group would sleep for two hours, and so on. And it was tough because you didn’t see sunlight, you didn’t see moonlight, you didn’t know what time it was. Many people had been in those conditions for months, and they only gave us small burritos, apples, and other small things to eat. They only gave you two burritos and a small juice box per day. That’s all. Nothing more. And to protect yourself from the cold, they gave you something like aluminum foil. I spent two days there. They were horrible, but honestly, they were so horrible that I’ve blocked it out of my mind.

You’re asking me what happened there. I remember very little. I just prayed to God for a chance to get out. After two days, they called me because it’s like a detention center, a circle of many small rooms, and they categorize people by race; Latinos, Afghans, Russians, gays, people with HIV, they separate everyone into groups. You’re there, in this circle, and in the middle are the police officers, and they start interviewing people one by one. Depending on how your interview goes, they decide whether you get out or not. Fortunately, I had my interview at night, and around 6:00 in the morning the next day, they knocked on the door and called out my last name, “Escobar.” From there, you go to another place, and they give you a COVID test. If you test positive, they keep you there longer. And if, for example, there was a positive case in a room of 30 people, we all had to stay in quarantine for 40 days. Fortunately, at that time, nobody tested positive. After that, they took us to another very cold room and made us undress, no clothes, nothing. Then the COVID test results came back, and they made us stand in a long line.

Then they told me yes, I could enter the United States, and I was very happy because I had heard of people who couldn’t, who had to wait for many months, and I only waited two days. After that, you stand in a line, and they categorize you there, deciding whether or not to put an ankle monitor on you; you know, an ankle monitor here [points to his ankle] with GPS tracking, exactly. I don’t know why they put them on most people, but they never put one on me. Maybe at that moment they check your background to see if you have a criminal record, if you’re a murderer or something like that. And well, from there they put me on a big bus with many people, from Yuma to Phoenix airport, and there they gave me back my belongings: cell phone, money, wallet, and that’s all. They give you some clothes, gray clothes, and your shoes, no laces, nothing. And they give you your papers where they write down how your process went. They leave you at the airport in Arizona, but for them to let you go at the airport, someone who already lives here has to send you a plane ticket. Otherwise, they don’t release you. I had a friend in Dallas, and she sent me the plane ticket from Phoenix to Dallas. They leave you at the airport, and then you’re free, and from there you can go to your destination city.

I arrived in Dallas on February 1st, and it was beautiful, it was impressive because there were things I had never seen before, the buildings, everything was so big, everything was so beautiful. I started my life in Dallas. Things went very badly for me in Texas because there are no possibilities to apply for a driver’s license there. You’re completely undocumented because the state is Republican. They don’t allow it. It’s not that easy in Texas: no license, no ID, no English classes, no benefits. Not like New York. Everything is very different there. So, at that time, I was helping a friend do DoorDash because I didn’t have documents. I worked with her, and we shared the money. But the story was sad and strange because she stole a lot of money from me, almost all the money I had brought with me, so I ended up on the street.

After that, my ex-boyfriend, my ex-partner from Colombia, decided he wanted to come here, and I decided to help him. His experience was even worse because he spent 28 days in jail in Louisiana, dressed in an orange jumpsuit and locked up with criminals. I don’t know, I guess it was because he has tattoos. Then he arrived in Texas, we got back together, and everything went very wrong. I was doing very badly emotionally. The change of country was very hard because I was used to other things in my country. Emotionally, I felt supported by my family and friends, and then I arrived here and had no friends, no family. It was very sad, very, very sad, and I fell into a depression that lasted a whole year, and it was progressive; it kept getting worse. During that time, we would ask people for money on the street and eat hot dogs from Seven Eleven that cost two dollars. That was the only thing we ate, or we would find food on the street or beg for it. After a while, my ex-partner and I started doing DoorDash, and a friend rented us an account, and we looked for jobs and helped each other out. He would wash cars without any documents.

I used to bag groceries at supermarkets. Horrible times, but nowadays I think that if I hadn’t gone through that, I wouldn’t have known what I wanted for my life. And there were many times, Hannah, when we didn’t have anything to eat. We paid for a gym membership so we could shower, but I always told my mom that I was fine because I didn’t want any problems or for her to be sad or worried.

After that, I started working with a friend at DoorDash again, and we managed to rent a room, and things were a little better there. After that, I sold some things I had in Colombia, and it was about $2500, and I bought a car, my first car in Texas, and we worked doing deliveries, driving a taxi, or helping people get to doctor’s appointments, and they would give us a little money, and that’s how we ate, and we spent a year like that. Until the depression got worse, we separated, and I entered a very severe depressive phase to the point that I attempted suicide three times.

Three times in one year. The last time I tried to commit suicide, I drank bleach; because I had no money, nothing to eat, no documents, no opportunities for anything at all, absolutely nothing, not even hope. They were asking for a social security number, they were asking for an ID, and I didn’t have either, there was no way. The last time I decided to kill myself, I didn’t succeed, but I came very close. They took me to a hospital, and at the hospital they told me they wouldn’t treat me because I didn’t have any documents, and I was practically dying. Then they took me to a foundation where they treated me, and there I was able to recover.

Today I think that I don’t know if life, God, or destiny had good things planned for me along the way, because it never happened. I did not die.  It was like a miracle. I went to immigration twice to ask them to help me return to my country because I didn’t want to be here, because in my ignorance I thought that the laws of Texas were the same throughout the United States. So, I thought, “Here I can’t get papers, opportunities, a job, or hope. What am I doing here without money, sad, without family, without friends?” I wanted to go back to my country, but even in my depression I started to investigate and research, and I discovered that there were options in other states with better immigration conditions.

Something pretty serious happened: my ex-boyfriend went to work in Daytona, Florida, and I was left alone in Texas. I gave him my car so he could work in construction during tornado season, doing demolition and hard labor. He left, and he wasn’t very smart, and he didn’t know any better, because he started committing traffic violations like passing school buses. He was driving my car with my Venezuelan driver’s license, and that’s where all the problems started. And on top of that, the car was stolen in Orlando. We were left with nothing, him in Orlando, me in Austin, without money, without options. The situation had to change because it had been going on for a whole year. During that year, I didn’t eat well, I didn’t sleep, I tried to commit suicide three times, I was sad, hopeless, and I started researching, amidst my sadness, where and how I could get a Social Security number. And there I found a good friend who explained the process of how I could get a Social Security number and an ID if I came to New York.

That’s when my mind started to clear up a bit. The third time I tried to commit suicide, I didn’t succeed, and from then on, I thought, “I have to react, I have to change my situation… I can’t continue like this, I can’t continue in Texas, I can’t continue with my relationship because if I do, the fourth time I will surely die.”  That’s when I started to analyze everything and I realized that the laws here in New York are different, and that’s where my perspective changed, and I said, “There’s hope, I’m going to New York,” because many things had accumulated. The first was being able to get an ID. The second was that I could move around with the little money I had, by train, and start looking for work and get ahead. So, I decided to come here and I started looking for help because I didn’t have any money, and the day I tried to commit suicide, when I survived, I said, “I’m going to New York, that’s the solution,” and that’s when I started planning everything. I spent a month planning, saving money, washing dishes, working as a dishwasher, helping people at gas stations put gas in their cars, and they would give me coins. I managed to save about $400, and with that, I bought my plane ticket.

I had my suitcases already packed, and that day I left everything behind and started over. My story in Texas ends there, but in short, it was horrible. I did everything from washing dishes to helping people, among other things. I managed to save a little money, and after a lot of research, a lawyer helped me apply for my work permit and Social Security number while I was still in Texas, which I received after arriving here in New York.  Well, then I came here, ended my relationship without saying goodbye, and started over, but I brought a lot of financial problems with me.

New York changed my life. I got a job I love, I found you, I made great friends—everything that started happening here changed my life, it saved my life. From the moment I set foot in New York, I felt it would be a rebirth. I started dreaming again and being happy.

Even though I had many financial, social, emotional, and psychological problems, my desire to move forward was so strong that I decided to change my situation. I became mentally very strong and focused, and I had a plan. My plan was always everything that has happened in my life in New York. In these two years, everything was planned, and I planned it all during a time of sadness. That’s why, in my studies, my work, and everything I do here, or the goals I’ve achieved, I try not to fail myself or others. Because everything that happens to me here, I asked for it when I was sad, so if I don’t do things well, it would be letting myself down or betraying myself.

Translated into English from the original in Spanish.